Petrichor

This Summer is spelt and felt in Vancouver, BC for the family. It is a crazy land. Hippie land. water-land. Hope land. Ridiculously beautiful land. Many more positives hold good here. The city is so close to my perception of San Francisco, only better. I have never seen this city with more grateful eyes. But my first view of Vancouver was not this great. If Vancouver is the big city, Calgary is the quaint, faint town/village. And it definitely felt so the first couple of days. My being was filled with thoughts at the first sight of homeless people. Where did they come from? Are there such people here too, in Canada? The freeze-to-death winter in Calgary probably made them non-existential there. And it took me this city to realize that I had settled down in my own world(with my own idea of it, of course)...in just over 2 years!!! I found myself looking in all directions. I had no clue where I was. Not to bother what I was doing here. I was everything from resistant to suspiciou...

I read Sadhguru's article recently here . While I dramatically make big issues about receiving, this man shows it on my face that I am receiving in more ways than I know. And now I realize that blatant truth. It took me a day to shake the shock out of me & face reality. It seems so natural(& mechanical) to think so many times about receiving something from someone. I think about repaying it someway/somehow until I actually do so. Life is not about ethics or morals like I've been taught growing up. It seems much simpler than that. As a kid, this seems simple. But after all the complexities I am caught up with, it is an eon in itself to carefully "unlearn" everything I learnt so carelessly. Sometimes, when I am caught up with, "Oh, how do I teach her(S)how to handle this? How do I teach her how to share? How do I change her attitude to these things?", I catch myself settle & realize that I need to just let her be herself instead of pushing my garba...

I have not been hibernating. Trust me. On the contrary so much has been happening in life, my life, our life that I am at loss of what to write about. Should I write about incredible Canada, where every corner I look shows me a family from a country so far away? Should I write about our travels, our recent road trip to Alaska which has changed me unlike any other road trip? Should I write about Munira , S's pre-school teacher, who goes to India to volunteer with organizations & sets up montessori schools there? Should I write about how S is teaching me every single day to be a mother? Should I write about how grateful I've been feeling about my parents lately for they allowed me to be ... just me? Should I write about the joy I have when I see my school? How so many emotions are tied up with that second home? I could pour my heart out & still barely scratch the surface. I feel blessed. To have all these people in my life, I currently have.

From 2004, I've had memorable New Year Eve's. In the sense, I was witnessing something different. Let me see if my memory serves me right. 2004 - My first New Year in the US. Watched the fireworks in San Francisco. My first visit to this beautiful city too. :) 2005 - Hiked to see the Elephant seals in Ano Nuevo SP, Ca. High fever. But did not want to miss it at any cost. 2006 - Heard the fireworks from our tent. Camped in Anza Borrego State Park , Ca. 2007 - SF fireworks from Angel Island . We backpacked & camped in cold 37F. 2008 - Quiet time in Palm Springs , Ca. 2009 - A quiet night after returning from a trip to San Diego. 2010 - SF fireworks from Treasure Island sans all the crowd. 2011 will be different. Very different from what I had in mind as different earlier. I find myself in extreme gratefulness. Extreme joy & love. For nothing in particular. I feel thankful to witness another New Year. So, I AM in a different place this year too. Just a different dimension,...

What is a thought? I looked up. Says Wiki I was being raided left & right by thoughts during my Surya Namaskars today. I bring back my mind. Another thought! And the process goes on. After a point, I just wanted the mind to sleep or go away somewhere. I used to love psychology all though my later childhood & early adult life. It seemed intriguing. But today, I just did not want to learn the history or geography or the psychology of my mind. I just wanted it to go away so I could do my practices. As Sadhguru says, "You will have to become illogical, uneducated...to understand what I have to say". For once, I am able to understand the magnitude of this statement to some extent. And this comes from a man who can live without any thoughts for days together!!! Our lives these days are dominated by the mind. Definitely not hearts, for most of us at least. The fact is we do not realize it as much. And when realization dawns, it is like, "Duh! What were you thinking?...

Revelations about the move. 1. We were not as ready as we thought we were...for the move. 2. But after the initial jitters, I think we know this is what we want. 3. I am truly happy. I'd rather be here & complain about not being in Bay area than otherwise. 4. Isha has become a bigger part of me than I knew it to be. 5. I need a few more moves to feel more detached, but I am getting there. 6. Money is needed, but is pushed to the very last rung in my ladder. 7. There is divinity in everything around me. I have just turned a blind eye so far. 8. Help comes from unexpected corners, & such help is never forgotten. 9. People are extremely friendly here. Maybe it has got to do with the weather. 10. Me & my family are so darn lucky & I am soooo grateful for that.

that I get these days is simply mind-boggling. I am coming across so many people who are, what do I say,...mmm...different. Way different than what you would expect a normal person to be. On one side I see compassionate people, people with so much compassion that they would leave all they are doing to answer your one genuine question; people who have left a career in s/w(in the US) to settle down with a farm in India; many many more. All these people are so motivating. What's better than being the way to show it? And all of this, I did not know about for so long. I am coming around to believe that if you start looking for something earnestly, that something you will get(maybe something even more). Sometimes, I feel myself wondering. Aren't we all(Indians, Americans, Pakistanis, Talibans) living in the same world? The different continents that was one huge continent millions of years ago? Whom are we fighting at? Whomever we fight with, whatever we fight with, aren't we all ...

Some of you may know that mine is a travel family. (Wish I could say " Nomadic ") I blog my travels. I follow other's journals as well. Some, very closely. Here is a man whose feet has touched all the SEVEN continents. The reason I upper case SEVEN is, yes! He has been to the Seventh continent as well-Antartica. And here we worry about who is the next President of America or who is going to buy cable TV in Chennai. ugh...People! *sigh*

Myanmar cyclone China Earthquake Midwest Storms CA Heat Wave Al Gore says, "TOLD YOU SO!!!"

I am a new parent now! I was blessed with a baby girl a month ago. Being new, I made & probably still making a lot of mistakes with my daughter. But my just-born baby is all so forgiving any number of mistakes I do. How many times I would have hurt her by holding incorrectly? How many times I would have delayed feeding her?(a couple seconds makes so much of a difference, to them) But I am forgiven. I know it! The way she looks at me, she tells me so. That one look makes me want to do better & love her all the more. Makes me want to forgive more? Well yeah. I am working on it :-) She spake none. But tells so much! That's a baby for all of us.

This is one of my fav. quotes from Stepmom. You think: "This is me" & a situation happens that makes you realize you are capable of doing something that you never thought you would. Life is a series of events, definitely. I am learning to take it one day at a time. We are capable of doing a lot more than we are actually doing. For those of you who are wondering "what the hell is this?", I am just venting out(good sense).

Iru Kodugal (Two lines)This is a yesteryear tamil movie directed by K.B. Well, I concentrate only on the definition of two lines in the movie. It goes like this: How to make a line smaller without extending it? Draw a longer line next to the existing line. The 1st one seems smaller now :-) The movie starts at that & deals with a real time situation. I've grown up seeing this movie many times. Time & about, I am learning from this movie. When you are faced with a difficulty in life that does not seem to go away, a bigger issue that takes all your time, energy & sleep makes your difficulty a no-brainer. You think you have an issue today. If you don't deal with it NOW & postpone it for tomorrow, most likely you are faced with a bigger issue the next day. Now you have to deal with 2. Life is unfair. We all know that. It is better to accept that & learn from each day every bit it has to offer. Life is too short to let go by. You need to live & enjoy every m...

It is surprising how things happen happily when you keep worrying about how to go about it. I don't know if it is God or Destiny or simply put, Existence. My dad calls it Nature! Whatever be it, good things happen to all people! Sometimes, we just take it for granted. We don't notice the small things. When I finally get around to noticing these small things, I cannot help but realize that I did nothing, but to be concerned as to Why things don't go the way I wanted it? Because, there is something better in store for me! What we plan for ourselves is not necessarily the best for us. Time to notice the small things in life! I can do nothing, but :-) at the intelligence that has dawned upon me.

The topic of discussion last saturday was Marriage. The 1st comment was Marriage can be a great teaching or a curse . The 2nd, Marriage is a great accident or a sweet incident . Most of us questioned how marriage can be a great accident? Isn't it a series of accidents? If a man/woman is prepared for Marriage, it would be a sweet incident? But are any of us prepared before a marriage? We are not even ready for a wedding until the day dawns! The joint consensus was If you can let go of your personality(EGO) & be open to take in & embrace the other person as a whole(the pluses & minuses), then, you change the great accident to a sweet incident. How feasible is this? Sounds Crazy! Impossible! Well, can't we give it a try? After all, marriage requires constant nurturing. Nothing is impossible with the mind. Though the relationship involves 2 people, how one person reacts pretty much decides how the other person will take it & react back. So, throwing apart the fact...

I began my usual walk late in the evening. Fall is more like summer & I prefer the cool nights. I came out & what caught my attention almost instantly? The sunset colors in the horizon. I generally look the other direction. What I see? The FULL MOON. I feel blessed. An evening is made! I am all dreamy when around the turn, I see someone smoke. I kept waving my hands against my nose until I was sure the smoker saw me do it. I cross an intersection. I smell smoke. US is a huge land. If I can feel the smoke now, what will happen to the next generation? They will live in smoke. With such thoughts, I kept walking. A couple of steps ahead, I was still thinking. The moon, the sun, nature when suddenly, *BANG*. I freeze my thoughts for a minute & look up. I see sparks on the road. An accident. No one was hurt, but it was quite a scene. Bumper jumped in the air, the car was pushed to the curb. I went in a little further to check if anyone needed help. The least I had was water ...

I had a rather interesting talk with a Mexican mami(She's a mommy too!!) in Walmart. We were in the same section looking for sweat pants. I was the only other person there, so she started her talk about why she was looking for sweats in the first place. She is visiting her son in Denver in early November & is going to be there for over a month. I was a patient listener(she was not boring at all). She asked me if I was Indian. After I confirmed, she started the real story. Her DIL-to-be is also Indian. I went uh-oh! If her DIL-t-b was not liked(which is not very rare) is she going to blame the whole Indian community??? Well! She started by saying that she was such a doll. Hmm...not so bad after all. In fact, she does not find any difference between Mexicans & Indians(I hear that all the time) & she agreed almost immediately to her son's wedding. We had a chat(her talking, me nodding is more appropriate) for almost 10 min. I now know quite a bit about her husband, son...

The older generation did not ask a lot of questions. But followed whatever was told to them. The younger generation ask a million questions. Rarely follow what is told to them(by the older generation). Older generation : Our parents/grandparents, generalized New/this generation : Us/younger to us Who is more right? Let's analyze. When it comes to being versatile in their likes(I know people who listen from Yanni to Sudha Ragunathan) I doubt if anyone can beat this generation. They rarely do anything without questioning it. Which is good, rt? They pretty much know everything from Soccer to Carnatic. They read from Malgudi days to Da Vinci Code. They have views on everything, right from Sonia Gandhi not being related to the Mahatma to the current Fed rate cuts in the US. Their knowledge knows no boundary, simply because there is so much exposure in today's world. I see less of male chauvinism, ego & more of understanding & the need to be happy & satisfied. Some of the...

I've never believed in the concept of best friends. I've seen people: Best friends today, go separate ways tomorrow(family moves or whatever); people miss each other so much that it affects your studies, food habits, your daily life! If I look at it all now, I smile. I am not a heartless person to say, "you are crazy to have a true friend you can trust". I do have a lot of friends. In fact, I cannot live if there are no people around. Just that, I never really felt the necessity to trust anyone so much as I had my mom always by my side. I wanted to share a joke, she was there; I wanted to go for the movies, she was there; I wanted to go shopping, she was there; I wanted to cry, she was there; I wanted to tell: someone hurt me, she was there; I wanted someone to share the day's events(be it school, college or work), there she was!!! She was a working mom, but she was there for me every step of my life! When you grow older, you need your mom more. I am feeling thin...

Basically from Madras, I somehow cannot imagine being in a place where there isn't a beach nearby. And hey, unlike in America, a lake shore is not considered a beach!!! It is strange that I did not have to be in such a place for a very long time. I might not go to the beach that often, or wet my legs in the waters, but when I need to, it has to be nearby. As psychologists say, we all have affinity towards water. I am generally not that kind of a person who wants to BE in the water. I just need to be near it; be it a beach, or a lake, a river, a waterfall anything to do with water. I can still smell silence in the air even in a crowded beach. Pleasure, tranquility, happiness, smile, joy, loneliness when you just need it!!!

What comes free and in tonnes? Advice.