Petrichor

This is also an irony! All through our early adult life we add things to our life assuming it will make us more complete. And after realization sets in that those accessories were the ones that created stress in the first place, we get down to "detox" our lives by learning to simplify our lives. We have restarted our camping vacations now & it is life changing, to say the least. Canadian hotels are expensive. For the sweeping array of places that we would love to see, camping proves to be a decent-budget option, if not the only one. Earlier, we always carried a laptop so that we could stay connected. But these days, we just love the fact that the places we go don't have access to the rest of the world. With the phone & internet turned off, we turned "ourselves" on. And all of a sudden it looks like we got new self's. Weekend comes & goes. No doubt we end up working more than we usually do. But the fact remains that we enjoy every bit of what we d...

Ok! Here's how stupid I got last night. G was working late last night. He came home after I went to put S to sleep. I heard some sound outside & conveniently assumed that G had returned. As usual it turned out that me slept with S. About 2 hrs later I heard some noise, like someone bouncing a ball. Wondering why G would bounce a ball at 11pm, I was wondering if I should get up. Just then G entered the room & whispered, "I came in after 2 hours". Half asleep, I was like, "whaaaat??" Then when I asked him, he replied, "The door was locked from inside. I tried to open since 9pm & came in by 11pm. So went to eat at Tim Hortons. It was yuck! Filled up gas & came home. Planned to sleep in the car but was concerned that you may get worried not seeing me when you wake up". And he said this with no anger or frustration. This taught me a lesson or what... I felt so bad. How more stupid could I get? Could I have not checked the door before I went ...

I've known some people for so many years. Yet feel so distant from them at times. Some people, I've hardly met, but I seem to know a lot about them & actually feel their intensity & pain. Ironic, isn't it? In that context, I am thankful to the Internet & WWW. It has made it a small world. You live in some corner of the world & are able to connect to a person on the equator. I think it is brilliant. The virtual world has indeed brought the theory of all-inclusiveness to a different level(I wanted to use "dimension" but refrained). Wherever I am, I never feel alone.

What is a thought? I looked up. Says Wiki I was being raided left & right by thoughts during my Surya Namaskars today. I bring back my mind. Another thought! And the process goes on. After a point, I just wanted the mind to sleep or go away somewhere. I used to love psychology all though my later childhood & early adult life. It seemed intriguing. But today, I just did not want to learn the history or geography or the psychology of my mind. I just wanted it to go away so I could do my practices. As Sadhguru says, "You will have to become illogical, uneducated...to understand what I have to say". For once, I am able to understand the magnitude of this statement to some extent. And this comes from a man who can live without any thoughts for days together!!! Our lives these days are dominated by the mind. Definitely not hearts, for most of us at least. The fact is we do not realize it as much. And when realization dawns, it is like, "Duh! What were you thinking?...

A friend's birthday wish is here . And another friend donated two kid's education for this friend's birthday. Something in me shook. I trembled. I hit my forehead. Why did it not occur to me earlier? Why didn't I do it earlier? Why didn't I give education to 2 kids? Why did I stop with one? I gifted a child her education & I felt so gloated about giving something. It probably satisfied my ego well. And I spoke to another friend about Isha Vidhya & told about this first friend's wish. Something clicked for her & she offered to gift education to 2 kids in the next 2 months for her kid's birthday. Wow! I like this chain reaction. The way I see it is like this. How many kids can we give birth to? I am happy with one, thank you. But nothing stops me from feeling like a parent to so many others. And these kids, maan, they are smart or what? They are dreamers. They dream about becoming a Doctor. They dream about becoming a Teacher. Can't we make th...

I got this as a fwd. Felt so nice that I wanted to share it with everyone. But that FB...wouldn't allow such a long set of characters!!! Mommy to Mom to Mother Real Mothers don't eat quiche they don't have time to make it. Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox. Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids. Real Mothers know that dried play dough doesn't come out of carpets. Real Mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up. Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?' and get their answer when a littlevoice says, 'Because I love you best.' Real Mothers know that a child's growth is not measured by height or years or grade....It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother.... The Images of Mother 4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything! 8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot! 12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything. 14 YEARS OF A...

For the last 6 years, I considered a dishwasher as the most inevitable part of my life! I just could not imagine washing all those dishes, everyday. Plus I also blame little S a bit for that. "A child in the house means more dishes." Ridiculous. No. RIDICULOUS! But since last month, I have been living without one & I realize how my mind made me believe that it was THE most important part of my everyday routine. When I settled up the house, I bought quite a bit of boxes & I had to obviously wash them all at once if I needed to fill up groceries in them. That seemed like a never-ending process. And how much ever the label on the dish liquid yelled, "soft on hands", I found it hard on my hands. Well, I am not used to this...not this much. That made me kneel down in reverence for all the maids that worked in our home as I grew up. I stopped whining. I geared up with a pair of gloves & started doing the job. With some music in the background, I am actually ...

Finally Settled! Kinda. Settling so soon has everything to do with IKEA. Just a weekend in that one stop shop. God, I love the store. As much as I'd like to get a local store experience, I am so relieved when I see a Costco, IKEA & Walmart. With these stores, I know what to buy where. This is the view outside our window. What's not to love? I seem to have forgotten Bay area already. That's funny. Because, when I left India to settle in Bay Area, I was holding on to India like it was my life. And every instance G showed a slight hint that he had forgotten about it, I'd remind him all about how terrible a husband he was for having brought me away from Amma, my city & my country. If I was G, I'd have sent myself happily back home. Poor G! I have loving people back home("home" is now a relative term). I still love them. But I don't seem to miss them. Not that much where it would kill me. I have realized that everyone has their way with life & I...

Just fixed a new car. Then the move to the new apartment. So, would be a week or two before we start our travels. In the meanwhile, about Calgary: 1. This city is definitely developing infrastructure-wise. Construction everywhere all the time(maybe they can do it only during Spring-Fall). 2. Calgary seems to be the hub for oil sands, internet & technology. 3. Weather is obviously the best in all of Canada. Never seen no rains here. It is either sunny, cold or it just snows.:) 4. Easy to spot a Canadian. He always ends a conversation with an "eh?". 5. There are pubs everywhere. (a quick reminder: I live in the downtown, eh?) 6. People smoke. More than I am used to. 7. People do not look that they are doing a favour by making a conversation with you. 8. Customer service in banks, offices are way better(than I've known). 9. When it snowed yesterday, we were the only people who were watching it out the window like a natural wonder. People were going about their business a...

It is difficult to put in words what I am feeling. More & more truths surface! Another parallel universe seems to exist...or is this that one? A yearning, to make myself useful. To grasp this entire world. A burning desire to know what the heck am I? And what am I doing in this world? There exists more love than is going around. A horrible feeling that poverty is obscene & I am a part of it as much as the people who are in it. It may seem silly, but by not doing anything significant to eradicate it, I am only being a part of it. And there is no sense of modesty or humility associated. It is blatant truth. As more truths come up, the more I realize that the truth was always there. Dissolution of the I, making yourself a part of this world, the possibility of knowing thy self, everything that once seemed distant, illogical, unwanted, looks possible, within reach. I can never forget my first Inner Engineering class or the subsequent classes I had the privilege of attending. If I h...

around where we live now :) Where we go for a walk everyday(notice the warning for coyotes...I was a little amused the first time I saw it) Where S plays almost everyday - on princess island park I haven't done this city justice through photos. Still settling down. But will post a new entry in the travel blog soon.

I received an email fwd from a friend that read, "Can water be affected by words? Dr. Masaru Emoto, a Japanese scientist, believes so. And he has proof." "Dr. Emoto took water droplets, exposed them to various words, music, and environments, and froze them for three hours. He then examined the crystal formations under a dark field microscope. And he took photographs. The results were totally mind-blowing.", reads the email with lots of pictures of water crystals. I looked up this guy's name on Wiki & I was a little surprised that he is true. :) I looked up his website . Now, from what I read, this guy is not a champ or a pro in what he says. His words may seem illogical & ridiculous too. He may not have credibility to prove his own experiments. But that does not necessarily mean that it is not the truth. What if water does respond to emotions? As the email read, we have 70% water inside. That makes a huge difference if what he says is truth. This is on...

I was a happy Brahmin as a child. Rather, happy to be a Brahmin child. It has got nothing to do with my caste. But it has everything to do with my parents. My parents were really unconventional, broad-minded, service-oriented(with limitations, of course), never-say-go to a temple(never-not-say-go to a temple either). We'd travelled a lot as a family. We have visited most important temples in India. But never once did my father or mother insist that I should pray or do any of the things they believed in(or not believed in). So, I assumed if this is how a Brahmin is, I am happy to be one. At that age, I believed you are never born as a Brahmin. You become one by your actions. Anyone can become a Brahmin. It is a way of life. But with all the things that started cropping up as a part of this religion or caste, somewhere I started experimenting with everything I came across. I had to try it to make sure it worked for me. With time, I started to lose interest in rituals & religion i...

It truly amazes me to know how much accepting I can be when I just don't resist. When I just let things be. This country, Canada & its people are soooooo friendly that words fall short. People at the Federal office really don't need to please people. They don't have the need to bring in customers. Today, I had been to their office to apply for SIN card & I had no palpitations when I met the officers - which is straight opposite to my every single experience in the US. My last name is pronounced close to what it should be & I don't feel familiar or alienated. Fewer people in a city than I'd ever see in my entire life(I'd been to Alaska in Summer- so that doesn't count). The Bow river borders the downtown & for a change the downtown feels relatively safe. The buildings are not as unique as San Francisco, but they are not grey & blue like in Vancouver. I am not ready for Toronto, yet. And so! There is nowhere else I'd rather be now, tha...

Revelations about the move. 1. We were not as ready as we thought we were...for the move. 2. But after the initial jitters, I think we know this is what we want. 3. I am truly happy. I'd rather be here & complain about not being in Bay area than otherwise. 4. Isha has become a bigger part of me than I knew it to be. 5. I need a few more moves to feel more detached, but I am getting there. 6. Money is needed, but is pushed to the very last rung in my ladder. 7. There is divinity in everything around me. I have just turned a blind eye so far. 8. Help comes from unexpected corners, & such help is never forgotten. 9. People are extremely friendly here. Maybe it has got to do with the weather. 10. Me & my family are so darn lucky & I am soooo grateful for that.

For a while now, G has been telling me that my blog has become an Isha blog. Isha has affected us as a family in such a deep way that I cannot help notice the changes. But as I went for my usual walk with S today, I just realized how much we had grown together as people. Being the cashewnut that I am, it helps having a level-headed person such as G around with me all the time. G is never biased. He never cares what I think of what he says. He just says what he feels is right. And I should say that he has made me rethink many decisions. It is not our anniversary, nor G's birthday. But I felt so strongly about him today. The past couple of days, he has been so patient with me, just being there. He probably would not have understood anything, but he was there, supporting me. It meant a lot, then & now. Over the span of our six years together, he has come to be one of my trust-worthy friends. Even if I know he would not agree to what I did, I have the need to share with him. I fee...

Last week, I had a ladies night out. Probably the first in my life. We went to watch "My Name is Khan". I laughed & cried And sang & smiled. For all those out there, I hate SRK. "Some" may call that prejudice :-). But it is a fact. There is nothing unique in that guy. At least from where I stand. I was truly open to the idea of watching this movie with the girls, though. Wonderful company where I could truly be myself. Anyways, the movie started OK. But at one point, where Ammi teaches the little autistic boy about good people & bad people, I cried! And that was not the only moment I cried. For every time when Rizvan bombards Mandira with "Marry me", I laughed! And that was not the only moment I laughed. For the songs, "Sajda" & "Tere Naina" I sang my heart out. And those were not the only moments I sang. And the scene when Khan(from the epiglottis) asks the President for his phone#, I smiled. And that was definitely not...

because, my mother got initiated to Shambhavi a week ago. because, she is feeling ecstatic so, because, I can already see the transformation lo, because, I am able to connect to her in a totally different way, so. Because I am so grateful, I bow!

I was so tired that I was not sure if I would be up until midnight. I had to be somewhere next morn at 7am & I was sure I did not want to wake up the whole night & crash at 6am. When I turned on the webstream from Isha, I was in for surprise. The whole program kept me up, awake & energized & I found myself swaying & dancing & embracing the night to the best I could. I should've known it earlier. It was Isha, after all. What else did I expect? Meditating at midnight with Sadhguru was something I never thought of at last year's Shivarathri. The dogmatic ideas of my logical mind seem to get weaker. Maybe I should toss them out myself :-) Instead of going into the details I can sum it up, "This is one day, er night that was something like never before". Thank you Isha for the oppurtunity. Turned out, a lot of us were dancing to Sivamani's & Vikku Vinayakam's tunes. Absolutely fantastic!

Why do I volunteer there? With Isha? I HAVE NO CLUE. But every time I hear of an IE program in the area, I just have to be there. The one that happened 2 weeks ago was life-changing. Yes. It was like attending the program all over again. The depth of each word said sank deeper. I am going somewhere. I know not of my destination, but I have begun this journey. A journey of self-discovery. When it is such a journey, who cares about the destination anyways. I have let go of(so many of) my mental blocks. I still own quite a bit, but it is probably a matter of time before I can let them go too. I am doing things way over my capacity. Me & G are juggling between things in such an easy manner(& with so much happiness & acceptance), that I find it hard to believe it is me. I am a planning/control freak that I cannot do anything without planning a few dozen times over & over again. The very fact that I am not alarmed by most things(not everything, yet) that happen without my pla...