Petrichor

Today,exactly a year ago, 17th September 2009 was my first day of Shambhavi . My association with Isha. The first 40 days, for some reason, did not look like a milestone. I continued it twice even after the 40 days. And then 2 months later, I took my first trip to the Tennessee Ashram for my Shoonya. And the 6 months target was also touched. Since then, no looking back. But now, 1 year. Sure seems like a milestone. Don't know why. But it does. I am aware that there are so many people with more than 15 years association with Isha. But this is my journey. And I feel many things. Mostly grateful. Life has changed immensely. I'd have probably missed my daily practices for about 5 days in all of this 365 days. It did not seem easy to even think of doing 2 hours of practice every day for 1 year. But somehow, it happened. Between S. Between all our travels. It just happened. It feels like the worst of the my life is behind me. I don't have anything to look forward to. Just honest...

I owe today's post to Deepak . I was alone at home in the afternoon. Someone knocked on the door. I opened to find some kids. Though soliciting is not entertained in our complex, I somehow did not feel offended seeing them. One of the kids asked me to buy a piece of chocolate for $2 as donation for their school. I did not even think. Just said, "I don't have cash. Maybe some other time". They replied, "oh, okay" and found his way to the next apartment. I locked the door. But something struck me. I looked in my purse to find $20. So, picked up some laundry coins & went back after the kids. Fortunately, I found them. "Found some change", I admitted sheepishly. The boy smiled. "Thank you", he said. The chocolate tasted divine, no doubt. I don't know what made me refuse the first time. I told myself that it was ok(absolutely) to buy something unnecessary for myself. The kid's smile lit up my face. I am still smiling.

What is love? Most times, Love comes off as an expression of a feeling. It means expressing it to someone. It always needs someone to show it to. Else, it feels incomplete. Whenever I've experienced this kind of feeling I would always look for someone to show it to. It is precious. It is priceless. BUT. What if we have a feeling towards someone & that person is not around? That immense feeling that has a desperate need to be expressed, but is unable to because THE person to be showered it with is not around. Ok, you can call, talk to that person. Tell "I Love you" a million times. But still, it doesn't settle. The moment you drop that phone, you want to call back & talk it out all over again. The important fact is the pleasant feeling it leaves us with. It leaves a permanent smile. You want to smile for as long as you can. BUT again. What if I want to be loving? Not bothered. Not waiting for that perfect person to come around. What if I am able to just love. N...

I know what made me want to go to Florida(from Canada) to volunteer for the IE class. With the IE online happening, there could be some time before this class happens again. But I was not so sure after making reservations. After all, I took the class in San Francisco & I have family & friends there. It made so much sense to stay with someone whom I already knew. But there I was sitting on a plane in Calgary. Absolutely pleasant & joyful for no apparent reason. A series of fortunate events happened. IE happened. Again! And I am blown over. All over again. In a completely different way. And how so grateful I am! Today is the last day of the class. I've been living in close association with so many volunteers. SO many things happened. I can barely find words. So, I am not even going to try. But I am noticing one difference distinctly. The past is no more. The future is not here yet. I am living in the now - No, not even today. Just this moment. I have sometimes tried to re...

7.00 am. I am sitting on a plane. Alone. I look behind. Calgary downtown lit up by the morning Sun. And the Silhouette of the Rockies in the backdrop. I wonder. No. Conclude. There is no city that has a landscape like this. Well. I always considered San Francisco to have one of the best skylines too. That counts. And this too. :) In a while I am airborne. Got a twist in the neck looking out of the window hoping to follow the Rockies. I probably followed until what seemed like Denver(beneath the clouds) & then all I know is we were 140 mi from Houston. This is the first time I am flying into IAH. And all I could think of was, "Houston, we have a problem". How dramatic! Geography is important to me. So, I was (actually)hoping to find the border from 37000ft high up. Where Canada meets the US. But I couldn't. It all looked the same. Until Houston. But Houston was different. All of a sudden a busy airport. Too many people(Pardon me, no pun intended). And steak everywhere....

One of the best movies I've seen lately. The movie is based on a book by the same name. It is based on the real life story of Brad Cohen who did not allow his Tourette's syndrome to win over him. He still lives in Atlanta, GA doing what he wanted to do all his life, Teach. I had similar emotions when I watched the "kadavul ullame" song from Anbulla Rajinikanth long long ago. More read about Tourette's syndrome here . It is really wonderful to see how the 2nd grade class kids had no issues with their teacher's syndrome. The movie gave lot to ponder about. A wonderful watch.

Definitely not "just another" book. I cannot call it inspirational but would willingly agree to say "life transforming"(to say the least). But it can shake you completely if you will. While reading the book, I cannot deny, I started to believe what was being told, at least a part of it, but now, as I sit and write, I am...confused. All the more. And as I know, confusion is good. Better than a conclusion. A friend mentioned that she read this book as she would her Ph.D thesis. The book belongs to the same genre as the one I read earlier, but it goes a level higher with scientific proof. ie., if you consider Psychiatry as science. It is very easy to dismiss the content of this book as illogical(even with the scientific proof) because the content is such. "A life cannot be rushed, cannot be worked on a schedule as so many people want it to be. We must accept what comes to us at a given time, not ask for more. But life is endless, so we never die; we were never rea...

I came across this book through a friend. The name sounded interesting & hence reserved a copy at the library. I had no idea what this book is about & did not bother doing research either. Only when I had the book in my hand did I know it was about Quantum physics. :) The author, Mani Bhaumik, the brains behind the LASIK invention writes about his poverty-stricken life in India & his journey of getting out of that "black hole". He successfully managed to become one of the millionaires of Los Angeles. But. That was not enough. That did not mean anything. The book is about his journey inward. It was a page-turner to say the least. And now about Quantum physics. I've heard Sadhguru speak about science. But never really thought it significant enough to look it up & verify his quote. Science on some level, never really mattered to me. But Mani speaks of Quantum physics & the presence of energy, only makes me smile. I do not believe anything. I do not not-be...

S planted her first seed 2 days ago. She was so excited trying to dig a hole, put the seed in & pour water. It's a given that Canada is populated with immigrants. And the Government is doing so much for the new generation. They have art programs, gym time, indoor play area, movie days, Help me grow times for kids. And it is all free. I learnt about this recently & have benefited greatly in just 2 visits. S absolutely loved being in the garden. They use organic fertilizers(I am yet to find out what they are) & the parents get to reap the veggies. I picked up a bunch of spinach & mint leaves. My cooking yesterday costed me nothing, we all ate organic food & I am also glad that we contribute to the community. Next week, we will go check on the zucchini that we planted & plant some more. From the post, if it is obvious that I had more fun, maybe you are right. I am getting to learn so much from all that is available. Hopefully, I gather enough information to sus...

when I am really happy. For my Mother mostly, but also for so many things untellable. Amma has just returned from Isha Yoga Center for an advanced program & she has been raving ever since she got back yesterday. Amma did her Inner Engineering 3 months ago. She has been regular with her practices. And in just 2 months time, the family doctor has reduced her sugar medication to almost nil. While I wait for the day it actually becomes NIL, I am so relieved, satisfied & grateful that this has happened. She has also dropped all other medications that she was on. She has been peaceful, energetic & happy for no reason apparently & I can definitely see a big change in her. And the way I am sharing things with her, I told her that I've never felt so close to her, ever. And it means a lot to say this when she is 60. But yesterday, when she was sharing her visit to the Ashram, my heart just wanted to be there. How privileged are some people! Amma has an extremely low tolera...

I've known 2 father's in my life pretty closely. One was mine & one my daughter's. One I know as father alone & the other, have the privilege of seeing one become so. Though it would've been tough, I think G took the transition to fatherhood pretty well. Now, all I see him is as a father & I say this with deep satisfaction & gratefulness. And the reason to that is probably my own father. While I will wait for my daughter to write about her father, this post is about my father. The person I looked up to as my Idol; My hero in my own right. My memories about my childhood days are vivid. I have special memories about my school, my home, all those travels up North, my astronomy time with Appa, all those books & rhymes he got & enthusiastically read out to me. A large part of this vests with Appa. The reason he is still fresh in my memory is probably because he has affected me very very deeply. And continues to do so. He took his work seriously. He wa...

A couple months ago, I was extremely fortunate to host a friend for a couple of days. Two days spent in her presence & company is possibly the richest memory I can ever treasure. I learnt lessons by talking to her, listening to her & observing her. One important lesson I learnt was to "Distance myself". From anything. From everything. Specially from other people's lives. When I was told this, it hurt. Quite a bit. The situation was such. A common friend was going through a rough patch. And this common friend is very dear to me, almost like family. So, I was a little(okay, very) concerned that she would end up with a wrong decision, for her or her family. It is not one of those poking-your-nose scenarios. I was genuinely concerned. But this friend, asked me to distance myself from the whole thing. She said, "Let her figure it out for herself". I was not convinced that that was the best solution at that point in time. But I have extreme respect for this pe...

I walked to a small temple nearby. It was a special day for the little one. A quiet moment for us. S loves to play with the kittens in the temple. I bought an archanai plate from a vendor outside. He was the first one I saw. But another vendor, a lady, a usual(vendor) was watching this & as I entered the temple started abusing. Usually my mother buys from her & today we bought it from someone else. I reminded myself, "A quiet moment...". I patiently told her that it was not intentional(& I am not a regular at the temple nor was the archanai). She was in talking mode- not listening. So I continued my way into the temple. The temple took my mind off a little from the incident. This place is almost like how it was when I was a child. I had spent days eating lunch here. On my way out, I had to pass the same lady. Now, she was wild. I told her, "I was going inside the temple...Do you have to be so angry? Next time I will remind myself to buy from you." What I...

This is also an irony! All through our early adult life we add things to our life assuming it will make us more complete. And after realization sets in that those accessories were the ones that created stress in the first place, we get down to "detox" our lives by learning to simplify our lives. We have restarted our camping vacations now & it is life changing, to say the least. Canadian hotels are expensive. For the sweeping array of places that we would love to see, camping proves to be a decent-budget option, if not the only one. Earlier, we always carried a laptop so that we could stay connected. But these days, we just love the fact that the places we go don't have access to the rest of the world. With the phone & internet turned off, we turned "ourselves" on. And all of a sudden it looks like we got new self's. Weekend comes & goes. No doubt we end up working more than we usually do. But the fact remains that we enjoy every bit of what we d...

Ok! Here's how stupid I got last night. G was working late last night. He came home after I went to put S to sleep. I heard some sound outside & conveniently assumed that G had returned. As usual it turned out that me slept with S. About 2 hrs later I heard some noise, like someone bouncing a ball. Wondering why G would bounce a ball at 11pm, I was wondering if I should get up. Just then G entered the room & whispered, "I came in after 2 hours". Half asleep, I was like, "whaaaat??" Then when I asked him, he replied, "The door was locked from inside. I tried to open since 9pm & came in by 11pm. So went to eat at Tim Hortons. It was yuck! Filled up gas & came home. Planned to sleep in the car but was concerned that you may get worried not seeing me when you wake up". And he said this with no anger or frustration. This taught me a lesson or what... I felt so bad. How more stupid could I get? Could I have not checked the door before I went ...

I've known some people for so many years. Yet feel so distant from them at times. Some people, I've hardly met, but I seem to know a lot about them & actually feel their intensity & pain. Ironic, isn't it? In that context, I am thankful to the Internet & WWW. It has made it a small world. You live in some corner of the world & are able to connect to a person on the equator. I think it is brilliant. The virtual world has indeed brought the theory of all-inclusiveness to a different level(I wanted to use "dimension" but refrained). Wherever I am, I never feel alone.

What is a thought? I looked up. Says Wiki I was being raided left & right by thoughts during my Surya Namaskars today. I bring back my mind. Another thought! And the process goes on. After a point, I just wanted the mind to sleep or go away somewhere. I used to love psychology all though my later childhood & early adult life. It seemed intriguing. But today, I just did not want to learn the history or geography or the psychology of my mind. I just wanted it to go away so I could do my practices. As Sadhguru says, "You will have to become illogical, uneducated...to understand what I have to say". For once, I am able to understand the magnitude of this statement to some extent. And this comes from a man who can live without any thoughts for days together!!! Our lives these days are dominated by the mind. Definitely not hearts, for most of us at least. The fact is we do not realize it as much. And when realization dawns, it is like, "Duh! What were you thinking?...

A friend's birthday wish is here . And another friend donated two kid's education for this friend's birthday. Something in me shook. I trembled. I hit my forehead. Why did it not occur to me earlier? Why didn't I do it earlier? Why didn't I give education to 2 kids? Why did I stop with one? I gifted a child her education & I felt so gloated about giving something. It probably satisfied my ego well. And I spoke to another friend about Isha Vidhya & told about this first friend's wish. Something clicked for her & she offered to gift education to 2 kids in the next 2 months for her kid's birthday. Wow! I like this chain reaction. The way I see it is like this. How many kids can we give birth to? I am happy with one, thank you. But nothing stops me from feeling like a parent to so many others. And these kids, maan, they are smart or what? They are dreamers. They dream about becoming a Doctor. They dream about becoming a Teacher. Can't we make th...

I got this as a fwd. Felt so nice that I wanted to share it with everyone. But that FB...wouldn't allow such a long set of characters!!! Mommy to Mom to Mother Real Mothers don't eat quiche they don't have time to make it. Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox. Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids. Real Mothers know that dried play dough doesn't come out of carpets. Real Mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up. Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?' and get their answer when a littlevoice says, 'Because I love you best.' Real Mothers know that a child's growth is not measured by height or years or grade....It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother.... The Images of Mother 4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything! 8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot! 12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything. 14 YEARS OF A...

For the last 6 years, I considered a dishwasher as the most inevitable part of my life! I just could not imagine washing all those dishes, everyday. Plus I also blame little S a bit for that. "A child in the house means more dishes." Ridiculous. No. RIDICULOUS! But since last month, I have been living without one & I realize how my mind made me believe that it was THE most important part of my everyday routine. When I settled up the house, I bought quite a bit of boxes & I had to obviously wash them all at once if I needed to fill up groceries in them. That seemed like a never-ending process. And how much ever the label on the dish liquid yelled, "soft on hands", I found it hard on my hands. Well, I am not used to this...not this much. That made me kneel down in reverence for all the maids that worked in our home as I grew up. I stopped whining. I geared up with a pair of gloves & started doing the job. With some music in the background, I am actually ...