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Showing posts from January, 2011

On this day,

I feel - moved . To have a husband who surprised me with a birthday cake(even after repeatedly saying "I don't want anything") & a daughter who discovered it in the fridge. - blessed . To live in the same lifetime as someone like Sadhguru. - happy . To have life in this body. - fulfilled . To not want many things I once wanted. - privileged . To have people who love me, in spite of all my limitations. - complete . To have a brother I never had & a little mad girl who means the world. A truly blessed life. Whom do I thank? What words can convey how I feel? When will I stop wanting to express things that cannot be expressed?

Fear

There are situations(or even people) that I'd be gladly away from. I am not a loner, but would like to stay away from people who are trouble or who may cause my inner balance to sway. I don't like to get into politics or be a subject of discussion. But, in the last few days I realized. These people or situations are not a bad thing. They are not my enemies. They are necessary so I get out of a few things I need to get out of. All this while, these people or situations caused turmoil to tremor(situation depending) ONLY because I allowed them to do so. It was I that gave them the importance they now have. When I saw this, it brought new strength within. My fear seems to have vanished. I no longer want to avoid situations. There is something to learn & overcome round every corner. I know I knew this all along. What was the difference? Well, it is the difference between knowing something & experiencing it. It is the difference between the mind & the self. Thanks to the ...

Maybe I am weird

I went for a walk today. Temperature reading -13C something. But the wind was howling horrendously. I wanted to feel the wind on my face. But G gladly gave my balaclava to save my face. As I walked out, a neighbor greeted. Seeing me all geared up, he said, "I don't think you are going out now. It is -29C". The windchill, he meant. I smiled & walked down. The minute I walked out into the cold, I realized, "-29C! What was I thinking???" I just had one layer of Jeans. The magic # is 15 or -15 to be specific. If the temperature reads below the magic#, I should be using 2 layers. Even more, snow pants. Alas! Too late. I could not feel my thighs in a little bit & the wind was bellowing from behind. I did not think of my way back just yet. I decided to walk as much as I could. It felt so good. Just being in that pinching cold. I was decently dressed. Winter boots, jeans, a down jacket over a t-shirt, gloves, balaclava & my parka's hood. I was considerab...