Monday, June 13, 2016

The Bishnois

They have been living in India for 500 years and there are 10 lakhs of them and I hear about them only today!
I came across a neat article and would spare writing another of my own. Here it is.
A hardy bunch of softies...precious.
In it goes in my Bucket List!

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Today was hot!

Very hot actually...
I am very skeptical to make such a statement in North America, specifically Canada for fear of jinxing it.

But today, it is a good statement.
I love the heat the Sun leaves behind. The heat that stays after the Sun sets.
The closest feeling is lying down on a bed of freshly hang-dried clothes!!!
Today, reminded me of my childhood. My favourite used to be Amma's sarees. :)
I just rolled and rolled in them until I felt all the heat. Not a thing escaped. I tried!

As the setting sun gave way to the gibbous moon, a breath of cool breeze whizzed by me.
Something so far away can touch so deeply. Interesting!

Monday, June 08, 2015

Other than the flags, is there anything different in the L side of the photo vs the R side?
When you look up from an airplane, doesn't it all seem to flow just fine?
Unless humans distort the land, the land seems just fine.

There have been many a flight journey where I have wondered which country I am flying over now? They all look beautiful and in a rhythm and pattern.
I have heard someone say that a few centuries ago, there weren't so many countries. There wasn't any need.
Bringing order and nurturing the cultural aspects are necessary but it has gone overboard when people die holding their nations flag. When things we create go out of proportion, it seems our responsibility to put things back in perspective. 

It is a beautiful feeling to look down the window of an airplane and wonder at the power, benevolence and magnitude of Nature. 
As this video mentions, we need Nature. Its not the other way around. About time we realize our spot in Space!!!

Sunday, June 23, 2013

History changes Geography

First sight! Definitely NOT love
 It has been raining almost continuously for the past 2 months. The ground was saturated and could take in no more.
I found myself looking up to the sky and wondering what's wrong? It doesn't seem right. This kind of weather in Calgary? Everything was so green that it should've been Vancouver.

Most people(almost the entire population) who live in Canada have a vitamin D deficiency. I am one among them. So, the Sun being absent is noticed. Missed. Even if it is for a day.

The trees in the middle is what remains of  Princes Island Park
As it is, we get nice weather for 6 months in a year. I wasn't ready to part with 2 more months. 

We live farther away from the river. In fact, until people called/emailed to check on me(thanks all) I wasn't even aware of the flooding situation.
The part of the city I live in has more open area. If the rain stopped for 2 hours, the road dried up.

I had no idea that all that storm water ended up in the river.

It was scary! It was sad! It was truth!

Memorial drive, that runs parallel to the river in the city
 Calgary downtown was flooded apart from many other towns and cities. Practically, every creek had become a river and every flat area around the river had become an unusable, dangerous pool. Not to mention the rivers that were impregnated from all the creeks.

We were asked to stay at home unless absolutely needed.

So, when the local TV gave us a spot to watch "the bow", we rushed in.

Watching photos and videos on TV was not even close to seeing it in front of one's own eyes. I couldn't speak. The level of water was shocking. unimaginable. Yet, there it was. The playground that S loved was under water. Most of Princes Island was below water. The water level touched the many bridges across the Bow. Let me explain. No, it is simply Unexplainable!!!

people flocked to crescent rd which has the best views of downtown
I have heard about many emergency situations around the world. Used to ask a million times to Amma how was it like during the emergency situation post Indira Gandhi's assassination. It was traumatic to hear. Unbelievable! Could not imagine the place I lived then to be something else?
But this, this goes down in the history of this city. It has never happened before.

They are standing on the median of a road. No demarcation between river and road!

I will let the photos speak.
The rains have stopped.
Things will be ok soon.
A new landscape will be formed.
The new generation may not know, but people who have seen this will never forget this. I know I will not!

We visited another known place along the river. I have never seen the river like this. It is wild!  

We came back home. And there was no sign of any flood whatsoever. Wow!

We are all safe. Hopefully, the evacuated people can go back in to their homes soon!!!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Isha in Alberta

The last few weeks have been very humbling. I have been visiting Edmonton to present Isha Kriya to people. The crowd hasn't been crazy et al. But close to 25 new people know about Sadhguru and Isha Kriya. And the change is already showing. We are having Surya Kriya programs in Calgary and Edmonton.
I barely slept 5 hours on 2 days; Saw my daughter probably half of the time she was awake; thanks to a supportive husband, I forgot that I had a family.

Every time I stood before people, I trusted every word I said. There is probably nothing in this world that I would do with this much conviction. It made everything worthwhile.
This is the best aspect of being a volunteer. The process is humbling and the end result so worthwhile.
There is something that makes me feel like nothing. I am able to place myself aside. I become someone I can only dream of becoming.
Those moments...when i dissolve...don't can i express in words?
It is the most wonderful feeling I have ever felt.

It is a huge blessing to go through what I am going through. Volunteering is such a tremendous tool.
The more i give, the more i receive. To see the change in people's faces, to see them melt makes every sacrifice, every adjustment worthwhile.

Thursday, December 06, 2012

One fine morning

I have a neighbour whom I have never seen till date. All I see is meals-on-wheels dropping food for him at the door. Sometimes, there is even a note saying, "Please leave meals at the door. I am out." I may have wondered who is this person? Nothing more.

Today, as I was walking out in the morning, I saw food outside his door. Lunch. Yesterday's lunch. Still intact. I did not feel right and let the office know. She thanked me(a lot) and told me that my neighbour is a really old and sweet man(living alone). She confirmed that she'd let me know what happens.
I knew they would be busy and did not mind her not calling me to let me know if all is well.
On my way out again in the afternoon, I noticed that the food was gone! Good sign. But then one of the workers told me that they were so concerned since morning about him. They tried to knock on his door so many times. No answer! They were to call the Police to break open the door as they were not allowed to go in.
They have the keys!!!!
Crazy North American rules(&**&%&^$%)

I was a little worried. I did not know why. I hadn't even seen the man.
On my way back, the office lady stopped me. She told me that they were so busy and worried since morning. She had reached out to his daughter in Victoria and she in turn was trying to get in touch with some family member to come visit. They had tried to get in touch with the Manager. They called him many times. They knocked on his door quite a bit too.
Then he just answered the phone saying that he was just asleep. For 2 days at a stretch!!
I was so much more concerned knowing he is actually alone, and has family as close as Victoria(2 hrs via airplane)
The first thought that came to me was "Did I ever hurt him? Did I hate him?"
I wasn't okay to realize that I hadn't even seen him. Maybe I should've made an effort. I will watch closely for his door from now.
And this thought startled me.
It may not be a long standing thought or feeling, but something very worthwhile to remember every moment.
That should make me a little more pleasant to be around with!

Sunday, October 28, 2012


Seven days!!! And not a ray of Sun,
What all I had did not matter. Every ounce of me longed for one ray of  it.
And now, when it finally brightens the sky,
my heart skips a beat.
It hurts to see all the snow fall off the leaves.

How can I have both? How can I have it all?
Yet it seems only that will make me happy.

The seasons happen. In time. Every year.
How much I want a season to last? Every single time.
How much resistance I have to face something new?
Yet it happens. 

The Sky clearing out 

I stood my ground to take it all in. 
I just was. 
Tried to grasp the world through my senses.

For a moment, I was glad I had my camera,
then, alas! what camera can see that my eyes do? 

O Elusive mind, what are you? 
When did you start ruling me? How did I succumb to you?
Are you separate from me?
Who am I?

Thursday, September 06, 2012

He is not a man, but a possibility!!!

Life after Samyama is very different. I don't remember how life was before knowing certain truths. Nor do I know a way to go back there. In many ways, it feels like a one-way trip.

Recently, I had the opportunity to watch the IYC streaming on Sadhguru's birthday. I have no clue in what state I was within myself. I was not prepared for the surprise that hit me. Tears just swelled in my eyes. A friend asked why? what? I wish I knew.
Maybe not.

His talk shattered my world.
Every birthday, I need to celebrate my life with enough awareness that I will not have it forever. I should think about death on my birthday. My death. Quite a feat!
But the thought that is troubling me most is ...Who am I? Caught up in this world, running behind things that matter less in reality, worrying about things/people on what I have no control of, caring for my own knowing that these were all I clearly grabbed recently. Who the hell am I?

Renounciation is definitely used in a negative sense. Even to me. But bringing awareness and perspective to the facts that I have renounced my childhood to become an adult, renounced time and self to become a mother...why do I hold on to these as if they are my own???

After coming across this question 15 years ago, I stand before it, yet again. With even more velocity, I hope.

Looking at His eyes, I just realized what a huge possibility He is. To me. How lost should I be without this possibility? What a huge privilege it is to live in the same lifetime as Him!
I feel like a spec, an unknown, in this huge cosmos(which is the truth). How I feel is of no existential relevance or importance!

I am deeply grateful than I know or realize right now.


Wednesday, August 15, 2012

To the big city

This Summer is spelt and felt in Vancouver, BC for the family.
It is a crazy land. Hippie land. water-land. Hope land. Ridiculously beautiful land. Many more positives hold good here.
The city is so close to my perception of San Francisco, only better. I have never seen this city with more grateful eyes.
But my first view of Vancouver was not this great.

If Vancouver is the big city, Calgary is the quaint, faint town/village. And it definitely felt so the first couple of days.
My being was filled with thoughts at the first sight of homeless people. Where did they come from? Are there such people here too, in Canada?
The freeze-to-death winter in Calgary probably made them non-existential there. And it took me this city to realize that I had settled down in my own world(with my own idea of it, of course) just over 2 years!!!
I found myself looking in all directions. I had no clue where I was. Not to bother what I was doing here.
I was everything from resistant to suspicious to ignorant. I surprise myself when I realize to what extent my-own-world has made me numb...Numb to everything around me.

It was interesting to look out and down from the 21st floor. It is abnoxious when luxuries are taken for granted. Specially when you pass by a couple decent beggars* every block.
I wasn't just going to watch the city from a high-rise.
I hit the roads.
Walked every street I set eyes on.
Me, a map...and of course a 4 year old side-kick who didn't have much choice to do otherwise.

Just seeing people face-to-face. For what they my eyes. And their struggle for survival.
These walking days became longer. And days surely became weeks. And I don't know when I started feeling like I am part of it...this city and its people.
The beaches soon looked like haven. The parks welcoming, and the resistance eagerness.
I will leave the city soon to go back to the routine. And honestly, a part of me(that has settled down here) again erupts resistance, this time to go back to the usual.
A huge lesson to the self. Is this the way life really is? Or again, am I looking at it with my eyes? 

* - who just sit. They don't bug you for money.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012


I've been wanting to write about my 8 day silence program ever since I got back home. But every single time I attempted to write about it, I would turn blank. After a while, I did not want to write about it at all. Four months after the program, I am not sure I realize the magnitude of its effect on me.

I can definitely feel and see the changes. Almost like a new ME. Only that, if it is ME or me, doesn't seem very significant now. I don't claim that I have been there, done it all. No way! There are still so many struggles that I go through. So many things that bother me.
But, somewhere, it is ok. Whatever be it. It's just OK.
I don't have the need to be emotional. As much.
It is so much easier to detach myself from most situations if I really wish to.

What all we had to go through in the name of preparations for the program?
The daily practices!! The diet!! The schedule changes!!!
When I sat for the program, I wanted to feel, "This is it. This is the end of all that I endured the last 45 days".
But, what happened every moment of those 8 days, I really wish I could recollect and tell it in words, if such a thing is possible. For what I experienced during the program, 'n' amount of all that preparation seemed frivolous.

The blankness that hit me when I wanted to write about Samyama made me even feel that I probably missed it. I probably did not get it all. 
But honestly, something like Samyama, cannot NOT touch you. It is subtle. Very. But BIG! It is probably the biggest thing that can happen to me in this life. My life has changed. It still is. The past seems so far away and I doubt I can go back to it.

My perception of devotion is completely different from what I have ever been taught or felt so far.
I bow down to Sadhguru with everything that I am. Not just for the person that he is. But mostly for the possibility he seems to me.