Wednesday, June 20, 2012


I've been wanting to write about my 8 day silence program ever since I got back home. But every single time I attempted to write about it, I would turn blank. After a while, I did not want to write about it at all. Four months after the program, I am not sure I realize the magnitude of its effect on me.

I can definitely feel and see the changes. Almost like a new ME. Only that, if it is ME or me, doesn't seem very significant now. I don't claim that I have been there, done it all. No way! There are still so many struggles that I go through. So many things that bother me.
But, somewhere, it is ok. Whatever be it. It's just OK.
I don't have the need to be emotional. As much.
It is so much easier to detach myself from most situations if I really wish to.

What all we had to go through in the name of preparations for the program?
The daily practices!! The diet!! The schedule changes!!!
When I sat for the program, I wanted to feel, "This is it. This is the end of all that I endured the last 45 days".
But, what happened every moment of those 8 days, I really wish I could recollect and tell it in words, if such a thing is possible. For what I experienced during the program, 'n' amount of all that preparation seemed frivolous.

The blankness that hit me when I wanted to write about Samyama made me even feel that I probably missed it. I probably did not get it all. 
But honestly, something like Samyama, cannot NOT touch you. It is subtle. Very. But BIG! It is probably the biggest thing that can happen to me in this life. My life has changed. It still is. The past seems so far away and I doubt I can go back to it.

My perception of devotion is completely different from what I have ever been taught or felt so far.
I bow down to Sadhguru with everything that I am. Not just for the person that he is. But mostly for the possibility he seems to me.