A couple months ago, I was extremely fortunate to host a friend for a couple of days. Two days spent in her presence & company is possibly the richest memory I can ever treasure. I learnt lessons by talking to her, listening to her & observing her.
One important lesson I learnt was to "Distance myself". From anything. From everything. Specially from other people's lives.
When I was told this, it hurt. Quite a bit. The situation was such. A common friend was going through a rough patch. And this common friend is very dear to me, almost like family. So, I was a little(okay, very) concerned that she would end up with a wrong decision, for her or her family. It is not one of those poking-your-nose scenarios. I was genuinely concerned.
But this friend, asked me to distance myself from the whole thing. She said, "Let her figure it out for herself". I was not convinced that that was the best solution at that point in time. But I have extreme respect for this person. So I stopped poking my nose. And guess what happened? My friend eventually figured it out.
And I was like "Duh!".
Fortunately, this friend is not the kind who says, "Told you so."
I used to feel & live other's misery as my own. I thought that was feeling responsible & being there for them. Ever since I learnt this valuable lesson, I just let them(whoever it is) be. And I know that is the best thing I can do to them.
The liberation I get when I say this is immense.
I am able to be unattached to the person & the situation while still feeling responsible. I don't carry anyone's emotions with me when I walk around anymore.
It is like living life without any judgements. Experiencing life as it is!
Very easily said, you may say. I said so too. But when I thought about it, there is actually nothing you can do to another to help them make the right decision. You can definitely not make them take YOUR decision.(It is their life & they need to lead it their way, remember?) So the only thing you can do is accept the situation. It is not being helpless or indifferent, but probably the most intelligent way to live.
One important lesson I learnt was to "Distance myself". From anything. From everything. Specially from other people's lives.
When I was told this, it hurt. Quite a bit. The situation was such. A common friend was going through a rough patch. And this common friend is very dear to me, almost like family. So, I was a little(okay, very) concerned that she would end up with a wrong decision, for her or her family. It is not one of those poking-your-nose scenarios. I was genuinely concerned.
But this friend, asked me to distance myself from the whole thing. She said, "Let her figure it out for herself". I was not convinced that that was the best solution at that point in time. But I have extreme respect for this person. So I stopped poking my nose. And guess what happened? My friend eventually figured it out.
And I was like "Duh!".
Fortunately, this friend is not the kind who says, "Told you so."
I used to feel & live other's misery as my own. I thought that was feeling responsible & being there for them. Ever since I learnt this valuable lesson, I just let them(whoever it is) be. And I know that is the best thing I can do to them.
The liberation I get when I say this is immense.
I am able to be unattached to the person & the situation while still feeling responsible. I don't carry anyone's emotions with me when I walk around anymore.
It is like living life without any judgements. Experiencing life as it is!
Very easily said, you may say. I said so too. But when I thought about it, there is actually nothing you can do to another to help them make the right decision. You can definitely not make them take YOUR decision.(It is their life & they need to lead it their way, remember?) So the only thing you can do is accept the situation. It is not being helpless or indifferent, but probably the most intelligent way to live.
hope you are able to follow this is as Srishti grows and allow her to make her own decisions.
ReplyDeleteI truly hope so too.
ReplyDelete