One year ago

I walked to a small temple nearby. It was a special day for the little one. A quiet moment for us. S loves to play with the kittens in the temple.
I bought an archanai plate from a vendor outside. He was the first one I saw. But another vendor, a lady, a usual(vendor) was watching this & as I entered the temple started abusing. Usually my mother buys from her & today we bought it from someone else. I reminded myself, "A quiet moment...". I patiently told her that it was not intentional(& I am not a regular at the temple nor was the archanai). She was in talking mode- not listening. So I continued my way into the temple. The temple took my mind off a little from the incident. This place is almost like how it was when I was a child. I had spent days eating lunch here.
On my way out, I had to pass the same lady. Now, she was wild. I told her, "I was going inside the temple...Do you have to be so angry? Next time I will remind myself to buy from you." What I said passed right through her. Another lady walked her way into the conversation & in the process of sorting things out, shoved a bunch of drumsticks in my hand & demanded Rs.10. ??? If it was me 6-7 years ago, I would have fought my way out of both these ladies. Somehow, I did not want to. It made no sense.

This incident stayed in my mind & I started developing horrible views on Indian's sense of religion/spirituality. Everything has come down to money. This is what I thought. And never really bothered to look around for an answer.
Two days ago, I was reading a friend's blog. It is not totally related, but he quoted Sadhguru, "we cannot talk spirituality when we have a hungry mouth around". Bharathiyar & Swami Vivekananda have also quoted on this.
Something struck me. And this one-year-old incident cropped up. It was no rocket science to tie both ends together.
They care a damn about Gods or Religion or Spirituality. All they need is something that could buy them a day's meal. And I took away her day's meal from her. If I was her, I'd probably do the same. If I look back now, she seems to me as the most honest human being. She was not being someone else. She was not trying to impress anyone.

And this thought made me face truth. Unless humanity can get themselves out of survival mode, we cannot dwell in something more or even start looking for something beyond.
The painful fact in the solution overrode any satisfaction in finding a logical answer to my inner query.