Friday, June 11, 2010

A tribute

I've known 2 father's in my life pretty closely. One was mine & one my daughter's. One I know as father alone & the other, have the privilege of seeing one become so.
Though it would've been tough, I think G took the transition to fatherhood pretty well. Now, all I see him is as a father & I say this with deep satisfaction & gratefulness. And the reason to that is probably my own father. While I will wait for my daughter to write about her father, this post is about my father. The person I looked up to as my Idol; My hero in my own right.
My memories about my childhood days are vivid. I have special memories about my school, my home, all those travels up North, my astronomy time with Appa, all those books & rhymes he got & enthusiastically read out to me. A large part of this vests with Appa.
The reason he is still fresh in my memory is probably because he has affected me very very deeply. And continues to do so.
He took his work seriously. He was a professor. An Economist. Not just anyone at that. Education was everything to him. His college, his life. He treated his students as family but would never get any gift from them for as long as he lived.
He took his family seriously. He was a good father, a good husband & a very good human being. He often saw us as his responsibilities & he showed his affection through that. As a result, his affection was crude & rough; He loved his family nevertheless.
He took his life seriously. He lived a life that touched people around him. When our servant maids had issues with their husbands, they would always bring their husbands in front of Appa. And Appa's word held. My school teachers looked up to Appa. He was a learned one & behaved like one. A very courteous gentleman. Chivalrous, not so much, but that much more gentle. He would foresee Summer water shortages in Chennai & make us all use only one bucket of water throughout the year. This rule applied to my aunt who came over during Summer too. No one thought of not following the rules. Appa always said, "When I come to your house, I will follow your rules". And he was true to his words. I've never seen him lie under any circumstance.
He took care of his aged mother. But handled the MIL-DIL issues so well. He always checked on his mother, every single day as soon as he entered home. But if his mother complained anything about Amma, he would always ask her to stop it(not change the topic). My mother was a working woman & he respected her for that. He would help with all he knew at home. Never waited that Amma should give him food/water.
Amma has always told me that Appa has never let her down in front of his mother, but his responsibility towards his mother was not based on his mother's behavior.

As much as he was a silent person, he would get absolute child-like excitement when he found someone to talk about Economics or Medicine or Politics or Budget or Gardening or construction. He was all about learning. He would spend hours helping his students with their M.Phil or Ph.D thesis.

He lived his life as per his rules. I've never seen him being influenced by anyone.
And he had a short temper. The temper would go as soon as it came. And I used to be the main reason for his temper. :)
Somewhere he wanted me to be successful & like every father, he feared that I might not. My interest in sports(& every other thing) only added fuel to fire.

Times other than studies, I've really enjoyed him the most.
-Those long astronomy sessions where a jute ball was Earth, another big ball, the Sun where he showed me Rotation & Revolution, I'm sure I could've never learnt from any School/Teacher.
-I can never forget those umpteen hours spent in working on the garden. I would be so tired, but loved every learning moment with him. No one could spent one moment with him & not learn anything in return. He was so much wealth.
-Or those times, when he showed me how to change bulbs & fuses around home. I've learnt a lot about construction through him. He had a book for every subject. He never feared to say, "I don't know" in spite of a Ph.D behind his name. He brought reading into my life.
-Not to mention the "softy" ice cream he got for me when I walked for as long as he walked. Those were many many days.
-Those days he took me to the beach & got only "Cholam" as everything else was unhealthy. He was pretty excited about the water they sold in the beach. He would show me how fresh water is dug out from the beach sand that houses salt water.
-Those pillow fights where he would never let me win. Huffing & puffing for air, we'd call out to Amma.
-Those carrom/chess games where he would always win. I would always win the "Bluff" in cards, though.

Me & Appa had tiffs all the time(he would tease me a lot) & I've always run to Amma for support. And she would support me unconditionally, every single time(& run back to Appa once I become alright). But if there was a slight debate between Amma & Appa, I'd always support Appa, hands down. Amma knows this, but she is still the same. Always my support.

There are moments when I felt he was obstinate & stubborn, but those came out because of his passion.
He passed away while I was still at school. Probably that's why he did everything in a hurry. He spent so much time with me, maybe because he wanted to make every moment count. Thanks to that, so many years later, even now, I can still talk about him like it was yesterday.

It was not until I joined the college he worked did I actually know how many lives he had changed. I'd be called in the middle of a class to be introduced to someone who knew Appa well(a retired Prof, an old friend, an old teacher/mentor). I always was the pearl of all my teachers; I think they showed their love & gratitude to Appa this way. I always felt welcome when I went to the Department room. If I had an issue, that was the place I'd turn to.
When I left college as "Class First", I felt rather relieved, because that was what my father always wanted for me. I knew I made him proud.
There were times in my life when in a situation, I used to wonder how Appa would handle it & then handle it the same way.

And so, it was only obvious that I wanted a husband, who was something like my father. G has taken this journey from "nowhere near" to "pretty close". But I know I cannot compare.

Everytime I see S & G bond, I smile. I know that G would be the Hero in S's life. He would be the man she would look up to. He would be the man who always has the answers.
Everytime I look at them, I look at me & Appa. I smile.

7 comments:

Ananth said...

Nice..! :)

geetha said...

Wow ! Meera ! I had tears in my eyes when I read about your dad ! What a wonderful human being ! We all missed meeting and knowing him ! Iam sure he is the guiding light in your life and is with you, ganesh and shristi all the time.

Priya said...

hi meera,
This really touched me and brought tears in my eyes. Even though he passed away soon, he must be feeling happy and fulfilled now seeing his daughter having a wonderful family and a caring husband. Wherever he is, his blessings will be always there for you.

Chakra said...

Very touching tribute Meera.

Anonymous said...

Nice..i know G, and I am sure he would be a good role model to your daughter S like your dad to you.

Unknown said...

Yup, agree with anon- G will be amazing - that locked out of the house incident - wow. Did I say wow?
"used to wonder how Appa would handle it & then handle it the same way. "
What a father figure! I envy you!

Praveen.Isha said...

Very touching tribute Meera.

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