Petrichor

From 2004, I've had memorable New Year Eve's. In the sense, I was witnessing something different. Let me see if my memory serves me right. 2004 - My first New Year in the US. Watched the fireworks in San Francisco. My first visit to this beautiful city too. :) 2005 - Hiked to see the Elephant seals in Ano Nuevo SP, Ca. High fever. But did not want to miss it at any cost. 2006 - Heard the fireworks from our tent. Camped in Anza Borrego State Park , Ca. 2007 - SF fireworks from Angel Island . We backpacked & camped in cold 37F. 2008 - Quiet time in Palm Springs , Ca. 2009 - A quiet night after returning from a trip to San Diego. 2010 - SF fireworks from Treasure Island sans all the crowd. 2011 will be different. Very different from what I had in mind as different earlier. I find myself in extreme gratefulness. Extreme joy & love. For nothing in particular. I feel thankful to witness another New Year. So, I AM in a different place this year too. Just a different dimension,...

So. I managed to read Robert Fischer's "Gandhi". For some reason, I did not want to read his autobiography(again). I wanted to read about him as a second person. And since this book was the inspiration for the movie " Gandhi ", I was able to relate to it better. The whole book went all "Mahatma" about him. There were words that touched the heart. "He did not want the British to have no strength to fight Indians; He wanted them to not have the heart to do so." It may seem immaterial, but what touched me most about the Mahatma was that he was not born like one. He was a normal atman with all the crap like we all have. In his younger years, he had told lies, got immensely furious on many things. But he rose over all of it. His vision made him do so. What touched me even more was that he contradicted himself on many occasions. He never settled with one thing. He was constantly learning to do what is best for a given situation at that particular t...

I have had a very different notion of what an Ashram is, all along. Or I am not sure. Did I care about to even think of one? If at all I did, I would have thought that an ashram is a dull & boring place where everyone thinks & speaks of God. No one tells lies. Everyone would(should)be morally Mr.correct. Again, I did not think women lived in an ashram. An ashram would be a painfully demanding place where you are inflicted with misery. It would be secluded from the outside world. With all these assumptions in mind, no doubt, I would conclude that an ashram is the last place you want to end up at. Ugh! I had the privilege of "living" in an ashram recently. A couple days only. Still. All I could think of it right now is, those few days were THE most happiest days of my life so far. And that is saying something. I will consider myself as one of the fortunate ones whose life has been blessed with many a child-like happy moments. I will not consider myself as a religious pe...

Coming from a not-so-traditional-but-yet-conventional Brahmin family, Sanskrit always intrigued me. Though I did not learn it, I've learnt quite a bit of Sanskrit words in the name of slokas as a kid. But nothing really meant any sense to me & I definitely did not know the value of it. Now, after all these years, I have received something from a very sacred place taught in a very traditional manner. Two days of just uttering those words with others, gives me the shivers even now. This is what a Gurukulam would have been like. When there was nothing to write down. You just listen & sing(about a hundred times) until your whole being gets it. I heard the Guru pooja for the first time at my Inner Engineering . It felt like something but I managed not to give it too much thought. There was already too much going on in the class. But every single time I've had the opportunity since then, I would find tears flood my eyes. The pooja itself, the words, the way it is done, will b...

Calgary and most of the West is under a Winter Spell. It has been -20C for the last 1 week. Not so much snow, but the cold really gets to the bones unless you are dressed appropriately. It feels like Christmas already. All the evergreens are adorned with brilliant white snow. Just beautiful! S says it is cold. She says, "winter is here". But no complains so far. I feel so gratified, though she is probably too young to complain. She loves to go out however be the weather outside. The temperature read positive today(just on the border) & it feels so warm. Relatively. I am amazed how I underestimate my tolerance limit. From "how are people surviving in that cold" to "It's not too bad", I feel like laughing at my own deceptive mind. So, there is my first winter snowstorm & I survived gracefully. Will wait for the chinooks now. :) I have been smiling at the snow for reasons unlimited. I am known to complain about the heat & now I learnt my less...

I think I have mentioned this earlier. But I was never a big fan of this man, thanks to my limited knowledge. I always believed that violence was an answer. But, today, when I heard this man say, "An eye for an eye only makes the whole world blind" I truly hope I got the meaning behind his words. What powerful words & what noble intentions!!!! I dare not say so. By saying so, we can put him somewhere high up & continue to do our nonsenses. Today, the world is in such a state that each & every person should think like him. Maybe not totally. Extending out to the whole nation or the entire world may seem as a Mahatman...but we can surely extend our current periphery. This man went on a fast-unto-death until the Hindu Muslim fight stopped. What will he do in today's world? One Gandhi managed to get us freedom. But how many more do we need to sustain this independence? I did not go "Boo Boo Pakistan" nor "Hurray India". Finally I have grown up,...

A recent joke G told me. :) What do you call someone who talks only one language? A: An American.

I get to meet a lot of people, thanks to the classes I take S to. The one thing that has not ceased to amaze me in Canada(among many other things) is the diversity amongst people. I meet 5 people & they are all from different countries. And yet, they behave like they are equally amicable. Like, yesterday, I met a lady from Pakistan. Being in India, I've never really had ill-feelings towards Pakistani's. Pakistan, maybe. But not the people. And I told her, "You and me talking like this...It can probably happen only in Canada." To my surprise, she told me that her husband is an Indian. Canadian now, but Indian origin. From Madras. That told me they haven't been home for a very long time. She did not know that Madras has moved to Chennai now:) But seriously, all this boundaries, these limitations, who is stopping me from breaking it? After all, it is me who created it. And these Pakistanis, they talk Hindi, so hell...I can even talk to them. Is there any other pl...

Of all the things I've experienced in this life...anger, jealousy, love, affection, compassion, joy, misery, the best thing by far is Devotion. Shambho...

This is definitely a better movie-er, more like a documentary, real life story. I saw one word, Everest on the DVD & picked it up. Turns out that this guy, Erik had climbed the Everest. If that is no big deal, which I think it is, here is more truth. He is blind. Here is the IMDB rating. The documentary goes about how Erik leads a team of 6 blind kids & their guardians up to the peak of Lakhpa-Ri, 23000ft, right close to Everest. What this means to Erik & his team & how different do the Tibetans feel about this climb is potrayed very well. Sabriye, a blind German woman runs a school, "Braille without borders" at Tibet What she decides to do when 3 out of her 6 students had to go down the mountain at just 3000ft below the summit is mind-blowing. It feels right in every sense. A must watch, I would say. About Sabriye Tenberken . She is something.

This was the first time I knew so many south Indians live in this part of the world. There were only 2 shows. I have no clue how G picked up from his friend that it was happening in a downtown theatre. I don't know if I should call him a die-hard fan, but he enjoys all Rajni movies. He made me watch Sivaji as well. This one...well, let's see I survived because of Harry Potter. I was almost at the end of the last book & used G's iPhone light to read the book in the theatre. I would've been stoned to death if I was doing this in Chennai. That's for sure. The first half was over before I knew it. I enjoyed the comedy a lot. Rajni makes a good comedian. His innocence comes out. Specially the first Mariyatha electro-magnetic mode. It was sooooo funny. But I just hated so many things. -Ash was used as a doll. Well, when was the last time she wasn't? Not sure, honestly. -The songs did not stick to my mind or heart or brain. I hadn't heard it even once before wa...

Dated: Oct 1st 2010 Dear Self, The world is just so immensely beautiful. The sky is beautiful. Today, just a couple of minutes ago, I was out, looking at the night sky. The moon had not yet risen. But the sky was lit by billions of diamond-like stars. It was a perfect analogy to sing “Twinkle Twinkle” to S out by the picnic table as she fell asleep on me. I am at Hay River, NWT, Canada. Above the 60th parallel. About 500 odd km S of the Arctic Ocean. From where I sat, one of the long stretches of the beaches at Great Slave Lake, all alone, if I looked up, I had a 365 degree view. But my extended peripheral vision was a good 180 degrees only. Inspite of that, I counted…I saw 23 shooting stars. At that instant, I realized there were millions more shooting themselves out. It was so still. OK. There were dogs howling that made me think of wolves, for an instant. But still, it was still. Everything. Including me. I did not exist. I just witnessed. Life is happening at this very instant. Lif...

Today,exactly a year ago, 17th September 2009 was my first day of Shambhavi . My association with Isha. The first 40 days, for some reason, did not look like a milestone. I continued it twice even after the 40 days. And then 2 months later, I took my first trip to the Tennessee Ashram for my Shoonya. And the 6 months target was also touched. Since then, no looking back. But now, 1 year. Sure seems like a milestone. Don't know why. But it does. I am aware that there are so many people with more than 15 years association with Isha. But this is my journey. And I feel many things. Mostly grateful. Life has changed immensely. I'd have probably missed my daily practices for about 5 days in all of this 365 days. It did not seem easy to even think of doing 2 hours of practice every day for 1 year. But somehow, it happened. Between S. Between all our travels. It just happened. It feels like the worst of the my life is behind me. I don't have anything to look forward to. Just honest...

I owe today's post to Deepak . I was alone at home in the afternoon. Someone knocked on the door. I opened to find some kids. Though soliciting is not entertained in our complex, I somehow did not feel offended seeing them. One of the kids asked me to buy a piece of chocolate for $2 as donation for their school. I did not even think. Just said, "I don't have cash. Maybe some other time". They replied, "oh, okay" and found his way to the next apartment. I locked the door. But something struck me. I looked in my purse to find $20. So, picked up some laundry coins & went back after the kids. Fortunately, I found them. "Found some change", I admitted sheepishly. The boy smiled. "Thank you", he said. The chocolate tasted divine, no doubt. I don't know what made me refuse the first time. I told myself that it was ok(absolutely) to buy something unnecessary for myself. The kid's smile lit up my face. I am still smiling.

What is love? Most times, Love comes off as an expression of a feeling. It means expressing it to someone. It always needs someone to show it to. Else, it feels incomplete. Whenever I've experienced this kind of feeling I would always look for someone to show it to. It is precious. It is priceless. BUT. What if we have a feeling towards someone & that person is not around? That immense feeling that has a desperate need to be expressed, but is unable to because THE person to be showered it with is not around. Ok, you can call, talk to that person. Tell "I Love you" a million times. But still, it doesn't settle. The moment you drop that phone, you want to call back & talk it out all over again. The important fact is the pleasant feeling it leaves us with. It leaves a permanent smile. You want to smile for as long as you can. BUT again. What if I want to be loving? Not bothered. Not waiting for that perfect person to come around. What if I am able to just love. N...

I know what made me want to go to Florida(from Canada) to volunteer for the IE class. With the IE online happening, there could be some time before this class happens again. But I was not so sure after making reservations. After all, I took the class in San Francisco & I have family & friends there. It made so much sense to stay with someone whom I already knew. But there I was sitting on a plane in Calgary. Absolutely pleasant & joyful for no apparent reason. A series of fortunate events happened. IE happened. Again! And I am blown over. All over again. In a completely different way. And how so grateful I am! Today is the last day of the class. I've been living in close association with so many volunteers. SO many things happened. I can barely find words. So, I am not even going to try. But I am noticing one difference distinctly. The past is no more. The future is not here yet. I am living in the now - No, not even today. Just this moment. I have sometimes tried to re...

7.00 am. I am sitting on a plane. Alone. I look behind. Calgary downtown lit up by the morning Sun. And the Silhouette of the Rockies in the backdrop. I wonder. No. Conclude. There is no city that has a landscape like this. Well. I always considered San Francisco to have one of the best skylines too. That counts. And this too. :) In a while I am airborne. Got a twist in the neck looking out of the window hoping to follow the Rockies. I probably followed until what seemed like Denver(beneath the clouds) & then all I know is we were 140 mi from Houston. This is the first time I am flying into IAH. And all I could think of was, "Houston, we have a problem". How dramatic! Geography is important to me. So, I was (actually)hoping to find the border from 37000ft high up. Where Canada meets the US. But I couldn't. It all looked the same. Until Houston. But Houston was different. All of a sudden a busy airport. Too many people(Pardon me, no pun intended). And steak everywhere....

One of the best movies I've seen lately. The movie is based on a book by the same name. It is based on the real life story of Brad Cohen who did not allow his Tourette's syndrome to win over him. He still lives in Atlanta, GA doing what he wanted to do all his life, Teach. I had similar emotions when I watched the "kadavul ullame" song from Anbulla Rajinikanth long long ago. More read about Tourette's syndrome here . It is really wonderful to see how the 2nd grade class kids had no issues with their teacher's syndrome. The movie gave lot to ponder about. A wonderful watch.

Definitely not "just another" book. I cannot call it inspirational but would willingly agree to say "life transforming"(to say the least). But it can shake you completely if you will. While reading the book, I cannot deny, I started to believe what was being told, at least a part of it, but now, as I sit and write, I am...confused. All the more. And as I know, confusion is good. Better than a conclusion. A friend mentioned that she read this book as she would her Ph.D thesis. The book belongs to the same genre as the one I read earlier, but it goes a level higher with scientific proof. ie., if you consider Psychiatry as science. It is very easy to dismiss the content of this book as illogical(even with the scientific proof) because the content is such. "A life cannot be rushed, cannot be worked on a schedule as so many people want it to be. We must accept what comes to us at a given time, not ask for more. But life is endless, so we never die; we were never rea...

I came across this book through a friend. The name sounded interesting & hence reserved a copy at the library. I had no idea what this book is about & did not bother doing research either. Only when I had the book in my hand did I know it was about Quantum physics. :) The author, Mani Bhaumik, the brains behind the LASIK invention writes about his poverty-stricken life in India & his journey of getting out of that "black hole". He successfully managed to become one of the millionaires of Los Angeles. But. That was not enough. That did not mean anything. The book is about his journey inward. It was a page-turner to say the least. And now about Quantum physics. I've heard Sadhguru speak about science. But never really thought it significant enough to look it up & verify his quote. Science on some level, never really mattered to me. But Mani speaks of Quantum physics & the presence of energy, only makes me smile. I do not believe anything. I do not not-be...

S planted her first seed 2 days ago. She was so excited trying to dig a hole, put the seed in & pour water. It's a given that Canada is populated with immigrants. And the Government is doing so much for the new generation. They have art programs, gym time, indoor play area, movie days, Help me grow times for kids. And it is all free. I learnt about this recently & have benefited greatly in just 2 visits. S absolutely loved being in the garden. They use organic fertilizers(I am yet to find out what they are) & the parents get to reap the veggies. I picked up a bunch of spinach & mint leaves. My cooking yesterday costed me nothing, we all ate organic food & I am also glad that we contribute to the community. Next week, we will go check on the zucchini that we planted & plant some more. From the post, if it is obvious that I had more fun, maybe you are right. I am getting to learn so much from all that is available. Hopefully, I gather enough information to sus...

when I am really happy. For my Mother mostly, but also for so many things untellable. Amma has just returned from Isha Yoga Center for an advanced program & she has been raving ever since she got back yesterday. Amma did her Inner Engineering 3 months ago. She has been regular with her practices. And in just 2 months time, the family doctor has reduced her sugar medication to almost nil. While I wait for the day it actually becomes NIL, I am so relieved, satisfied & grateful that this has happened. She has also dropped all other medications that she was on. She has been peaceful, energetic & happy for no reason apparently & I can definitely see a big change in her. And the way I am sharing things with her, I told her that I've never felt so close to her, ever. And it means a lot to say this when she is 60. But yesterday, when she was sharing her visit to the Ashram, my heart just wanted to be there. How privileged are some people! Amma has an extremely low tolera...

I've known 2 father's in my life pretty closely. One was mine & one my daughter's. One I know as father alone & the other, have the privilege of seeing one become so. Though it would've been tough, I think G took the transition to fatherhood pretty well. Now, all I see him is as a father & I say this with deep satisfaction & gratefulness. And the reason to that is probably my own father. While I will wait for my daughter to write about her father, this post is about my father. The person I looked up to as my Idol; My hero in my own right. My memories about my childhood days are vivid. I have special memories about my school, my home, all those travels up North, my astronomy time with Appa, all those books & rhymes he got & enthusiastically read out to me. A large part of this vests with Appa. The reason he is still fresh in my memory is probably because he has affected me very very deeply. And continues to do so. He took his work seriously. He wa...

A couple months ago, I was extremely fortunate to host a friend for a couple of days. Two days spent in her presence & company is possibly the richest memory I can ever treasure. I learnt lessons by talking to her, listening to her & observing her. One important lesson I learnt was to "Distance myself". From anything. From everything. Specially from other people's lives. When I was told this, it hurt. Quite a bit. The situation was such. A common friend was going through a rough patch. And this common friend is very dear to me, almost like family. So, I was a little(okay, very) concerned that she would end up with a wrong decision, for her or her family. It is not one of those poking-your-nose scenarios. I was genuinely concerned. But this friend, asked me to distance myself from the whole thing. She said, "Let her figure it out for herself". I was not convinced that that was the best solution at that point in time. But I have extreme respect for this pe...

I walked to a small temple nearby. It was a special day for the little one. A quiet moment for us. S loves to play with the kittens in the temple. I bought an archanai plate from a vendor outside. He was the first one I saw. But another vendor, a lady, a usual(vendor) was watching this & as I entered the temple started abusing. Usually my mother buys from her & today we bought it from someone else. I reminded myself, "A quiet moment...". I patiently told her that it was not intentional(& I am not a regular at the temple nor was the archanai). She was in talking mode- not listening. So I continued my way into the temple. The temple took my mind off a little from the incident. This place is almost like how it was when I was a child. I had spent days eating lunch here. On my way out, I had to pass the same lady. Now, she was wild. I told her, "I was going inside the temple...Do you have to be so angry? Next time I will remind myself to buy from you." What I...

This is also an irony! All through our early adult life we add things to our life assuming it will make us more complete. And after realization sets in that those accessories were the ones that created stress in the first place, we get down to "detox" our lives by learning to simplify our lives. We have restarted our camping vacations now & it is life changing, to say the least. Canadian hotels are expensive. For the sweeping array of places that we would love to see, camping proves to be a decent-budget option, if not the only one. Earlier, we always carried a laptop so that we could stay connected. But these days, we just love the fact that the places we go don't have access to the rest of the world. With the phone & internet turned off, we turned "ourselves" on. And all of a sudden it looks like we got new self's. Weekend comes & goes. No doubt we end up working more than we usually do. But the fact remains that we enjoy every bit of what we d...

Ok! Here's how stupid I got last night. G was working late last night. He came home after I went to put S to sleep. I heard some sound outside & conveniently assumed that G had returned. As usual it turned out that me slept with S. About 2 hrs later I heard some noise, like someone bouncing a ball. Wondering why G would bounce a ball at 11pm, I was wondering if I should get up. Just then G entered the room & whispered, "I came in after 2 hours". Half asleep, I was like, "whaaaat??" Then when I asked him, he replied, "The door was locked from inside. I tried to open since 9pm & came in by 11pm. So went to eat at Tim Hortons. It was yuck! Filled up gas & came home. Planned to sleep in the car but was concerned that you may get worried not seeing me when you wake up". And he said this with no anger or frustration. This taught me a lesson or what... I felt so bad. How more stupid could I get? Could I have not checked the door before I went ...

I've known some people for so many years. Yet feel so distant from them at times. Some people, I've hardly met, but I seem to know a lot about them & actually feel their intensity & pain. Ironic, isn't it? In that context, I am thankful to the Internet & WWW. It has made it a small world. You live in some corner of the world & are able to connect to a person on the equator. I think it is brilliant. The virtual world has indeed brought the theory of all-inclusiveness to a different level(I wanted to use "dimension" but refrained). Wherever I am, I never feel alone.

What is a thought? I looked up. Says Wiki I was being raided left & right by thoughts during my Surya Namaskars today. I bring back my mind. Another thought! And the process goes on. After a point, I just wanted the mind to sleep or go away somewhere. I used to love psychology all though my later childhood & early adult life. It seemed intriguing. But today, I just did not want to learn the history or geography or the psychology of my mind. I just wanted it to go away so I could do my practices. As Sadhguru says, "You will have to become illogical, uneducated...to understand what I have to say". For once, I am able to understand the magnitude of this statement to some extent. And this comes from a man who can live without any thoughts for days together!!! Our lives these days are dominated by the mind. Definitely not hearts, for most of us at least. The fact is we do not realize it as much. And when realization dawns, it is like, "Duh! What were you thinking?...

A friend's birthday wish is here . And another friend donated two kid's education for this friend's birthday. Something in me shook. I trembled. I hit my forehead. Why did it not occur to me earlier? Why didn't I do it earlier? Why didn't I give education to 2 kids? Why did I stop with one? I gifted a child her education & I felt so gloated about giving something. It probably satisfied my ego well. And I spoke to another friend about Isha Vidhya & told about this first friend's wish. Something clicked for her & she offered to gift education to 2 kids in the next 2 months for her kid's birthday. Wow! I like this chain reaction. The way I see it is like this. How many kids can we give birth to? I am happy with one, thank you. But nothing stops me from feeling like a parent to so many others. And these kids, maan, they are smart or what? They are dreamers. They dream about becoming a Doctor. They dream about becoming a Teacher. Can't we make th...

I got this as a fwd. Felt so nice that I wanted to share it with everyone. But that FB...wouldn't allow such a long set of characters!!! Mommy to Mom to Mother Real Mothers don't eat quiche they don't have time to make it. Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox. Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids. Real Mothers know that dried play dough doesn't come out of carpets. Real Mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up. Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?' and get their answer when a littlevoice says, 'Because I love you best.' Real Mothers know that a child's growth is not measured by height or years or grade....It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother.... The Images of Mother 4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything! 8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot! 12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything. 14 YEARS OF A...

For the last 6 years, I considered a dishwasher as the most inevitable part of my life! I just could not imagine washing all those dishes, everyday. Plus I also blame little S a bit for that. "A child in the house means more dishes." Ridiculous. No. RIDICULOUS! But since last month, I have been living without one & I realize how my mind made me believe that it was THE most important part of my everyday routine. When I settled up the house, I bought quite a bit of boxes & I had to obviously wash them all at once if I needed to fill up groceries in them. That seemed like a never-ending process. And how much ever the label on the dish liquid yelled, "soft on hands", I found it hard on my hands. Well, I am not used to this...not this much. That made me kneel down in reverence for all the maids that worked in our home as I grew up. I stopped whining. I geared up with a pair of gloves & started doing the job. With some music in the background, I am actually ...

Finally Settled! Kinda. Settling so soon has everything to do with IKEA. Just a weekend in that one stop shop. God, I love the store. As much as I'd like to get a local store experience, I am so relieved when I see a Costco, IKEA & Walmart. With these stores, I know what to buy where. This is the view outside our window. What's not to love? I seem to have forgotten Bay area already. That's funny. Because, when I left India to settle in Bay Area, I was holding on to India like it was my life. And every instance G showed a slight hint that he had forgotten about it, I'd remind him all about how terrible a husband he was for having brought me away from Amma, my city & my country. If I was G, I'd have sent myself happily back home. Poor G! I have loving people back home("home" is now a relative term). I still love them. But I don't seem to miss them. Not that much where it would kill me. I have realized that everyone has their way with life & I...

Just fixed a new car. Then the move to the new apartment. So, would be a week or two before we start our travels. In the meanwhile, about Calgary: 1. This city is definitely developing infrastructure-wise. Construction everywhere all the time(maybe they can do it only during Spring-Fall). 2. Calgary seems to be the hub for oil sands, internet & technology. 3. Weather is obviously the best in all of Canada. Never seen no rains here. It is either sunny, cold or it just snows.:) 4. Easy to spot a Canadian. He always ends a conversation with an "eh?". 5. There are pubs everywhere. (a quick reminder: I live in the downtown, eh?) 6. People smoke. More than I am used to. 7. People do not look that they are doing a favour by making a conversation with you. 8. Customer service in banks, offices are way better(than I've known). 9. When it snowed yesterday, we were the only people who were watching it out the window like a natural wonder. People were going about their business a...

It is difficult to put in words what I am feeling. More & more truths surface! Another parallel universe seems to exist...or is this that one? A yearning, to make myself useful. To grasp this entire world. A burning desire to know what the heck am I? And what am I doing in this world? There exists more love than is going around. A horrible feeling that poverty is obscene & I am a part of it as much as the people who are in it. It may seem silly, but by not doing anything significant to eradicate it, I am only being a part of it. And there is no sense of modesty or humility associated. It is blatant truth. As more truths come up, the more I realize that the truth was always there. Dissolution of the I, making yourself a part of this world, the possibility of knowing thy self, everything that once seemed distant, illogical, unwanted, looks possible, within reach. I can never forget my first Inner Engineering class or the subsequent classes I had the privilege of attending. If I h...

around where we live now :) Where we go for a walk everyday(notice the warning for coyotes...I was a little amused the first time I saw it) Where S plays almost everyday - on princess island park I haven't done this city justice through photos. Still settling down. But will post a new entry in the travel blog soon.

I received an email fwd from a friend that read, "Can water be affected by words? Dr. Masaru Emoto, a Japanese scientist, believes so. And he has proof." "Dr. Emoto took water droplets, exposed them to various words, music, and environments, and froze them for three hours. He then examined the crystal formations under a dark field microscope. And he took photographs. The results were totally mind-blowing.", reads the email with lots of pictures of water crystals. I looked up this guy's name on Wiki & I was a little surprised that he is true. :) I looked up his website . Now, from what I read, this guy is not a champ or a pro in what he says. His words may seem illogical & ridiculous too. He may not have credibility to prove his own experiments. But that does not necessarily mean that it is not the truth. What if water does respond to emotions? As the email read, we have 70% water inside. That makes a huge difference if what he says is truth. This is on...

I was a happy Brahmin as a child. Rather, happy to be a Brahmin child. It has got nothing to do with my caste. But it has everything to do with my parents. My parents were really unconventional, broad-minded, service-oriented(with limitations, of course), never-say-go to a temple(never-not-say-go to a temple either). We'd travelled a lot as a family. We have visited most important temples in India. But never once did my father or mother insist that I should pray or do any of the things they believed in(or not believed in). So, I assumed if this is how a Brahmin is, I am happy to be one. At that age, I believed you are never born as a Brahmin. You become one by your actions. Anyone can become a Brahmin. It is a way of life. But with all the things that started cropping up as a part of this religion or caste, somewhere I started experimenting with everything I came across. I had to try it to make sure it worked for me. With time, I started to lose interest in rituals & religion i...

It truly amazes me to know how much accepting I can be when I just don't resist. When I just let things be. This country, Canada & its people are soooooo friendly that words fall short. People at the Federal office really don't need to please people. They don't have the need to bring in customers. Today, I had been to their office to apply for SIN card & I had no palpitations when I met the officers - which is straight opposite to my every single experience in the US. My last name is pronounced close to what it should be & I don't feel familiar or alienated. Fewer people in a city than I'd ever see in my entire life(I'd been to Alaska in Summer- so that doesn't count). The Bow river borders the downtown & for a change the downtown feels relatively safe. The buildings are not as unique as San Francisco, but they are not grey & blue like in Vancouver. I am not ready for Toronto, yet. And so! There is nowhere else I'd rather be now, tha...

Revelations about the move. 1. We were not as ready as we thought we were...for the move. 2. But after the initial jitters, I think we know this is what we want. 3. I am truly happy. I'd rather be here & complain about not being in Bay area than otherwise. 4. Isha has become a bigger part of me than I knew it to be. 5. I need a few more moves to feel more detached, but I am getting there. 6. Money is needed, but is pushed to the very last rung in my ladder. 7. There is divinity in everything around me. I have just turned a blind eye so far. 8. Help comes from unexpected corners, & such help is never forgotten. 9. People are extremely friendly here. Maybe it has got to do with the weather. 10. Me & my family are so darn lucky & I am soooo grateful for that.

For a while now, G has been telling me that my blog has become an Isha blog. Isha has affected us as a family in such a deep way that I cannot help notice the changes. But as I went for my usual walk with S today, I just realized how much we had grown together as people. Being the cashewnut that I am, it helps having a level-headed person such as G around with me all the time. G is never biased. He never cares what I think of what he says. He just says what he feels is right. And I should say that he has made me rethink many decisions. It is not our anniversary, nor G's birthday. But I felt so strongly about him today. The past couple of days, he has been so patient with me, just being there. He probably would not have understood anything, but he was there, supporting me. It meant a lot, then & now. Over the span of our six years together, he has come to be one of my trust-worthy friends. Even if I know he would not agree to what I did, I have the need to share with him. I fee...

Last week, I had a ladies night out. Probably the first in my life. We went to watch "My Name is Khan". I laughed & cried And sang & smiled. For all those out there, I hate SRK. "Some" may call that prejudice :-). But it is a fact. There is nothing unique in that guy. At least from where I stand. I was truly open to the idea of watching this movie with the girls, though. Wonderful company where I could truly be myself. Anyways, the movie started OK. But at one point, where Ammi teaches the little autistic boy about good people & bad people, I cried! And that was not the only moment I cried. For every time when Rizvan bombards Mandira with "Marry me", I laughed! And that was not the only moment I laughed. For the songs, "Sajda" & "Tere Naina" I sang my heart out. And those were not the only moments I sang. And the scene when Khan(from the epiglottis) asks the President for his phone#, I smiled. And that was definitely not...

because, my mother got initiated to Shambhavi a week ago. because, she is feeling ecstatic so, because, I can already see the transformation lo, because, I am able to connect to her in a totally different way, so. Because I am so grateful, I bow!

I was so tired that I was not sure if I would be up until midnight. I had to be somewhere next morn at 7am & I was sure I did not want to wake up the whole night & crash at 6am. When I turned on the webstream from Isha, I was in for surprise. The whole program kept me up, awake & energized & I found myself swaying & dancing & embracing the night to the best I could. I should've known it earlier. It was Isha, after all. What else did I expect? Meditating at midnight with Sadhguru was something I never thought of at last year's Shivarathri. The dogmatic ideas of my logical mind seem to get weaker. Maybe I should toss them out myself :-) Instead of going into the details I can sum it up, "This is one day, er night that was something like never before". Thank you Isha for the oppurtunity. Turned out, a lot of us were dancing to Sivamani's & Vikku Vinayakam's tunes. Absolutely fantastic!

Why do I volunteer there? With Isha? I HAVE NO CLUE. But every time I hear of an IE program in the area, I just have to be there. The one that happened 2 weeks ago was life-changing. Yes. It was like attending the program all over again. The depth of each word said sank deeper. I am going somewhere. I know not of my destination, but I have begun this journey. A journey of self-discovery. When it is such a journey, who cares about the destination anyways. I have let go of(so many of) my mental blocks. I still own quite a bit, but it is probably a matter of time before I can let them go too. I am doing things way over my capacity. Me & G are juggling between things in such an easy manner(& with so much happiness & acceptance), that I find it hard to believe it is me. I am a planning/control freak that I cannot do anything without planning a few dozen times over & over again. The very fact that I am not alarmed by most things(not everything, yet) that happen without my pla...

I am not a big fan of SCIFI. So my initial view on this movie was totally on the negative side. I refused to watch the trailer but made a judgement based on my short-sighted perception. How wrong? Oh, so wrong I was. But when I started getting good reviews from friends, I started reading about it. Looked up that somewhere the movie talks about everything being one energy & how the Navi people live in tune with their world. That one thing made me say "OK" to G who was actually hoping I would turn over to his side. Thanks again to my mother who stayed back home to watch over the sleeping bundle while we hit AMC. The crowds were all oohing & aahing. At 8pm we were in the middle of the long queue(show timing: 8.45pm) that started to take shape. I haven't visited a theatre in almost 2 years. So seriously, I did not know if I would be able to keep myself awake & in one place for 150+ minutes. Then the movie started. I am not sure if the 3D(or even the IMAX) made a b...

I came across this movie somehow. The movie is pathetically made. The Everest 1996 expedition is apparently very famous for being the worst season ever. The movie failed to show important details behind each person. In the movie, the disaster seemed avoidable in simple ways. They made it look that each person was incompetent in whatever they were doing. A classic recipe for no one doing their job. But once I heard that it was from a book, I reserved myself a copy. The book is by far better than the movie. Rather, it depicts the day's events & the history behind everything. These guides, Fischer & Hall were extremely unique people in their own way. Everything seemed to have gone wrong on May 10th 1996. So many people lost their lives. I love mountains, nature & generally adventure. But after reading this book, I had this feeling, "Maybe Everest is not meant to be climbed". Some questions too...Why do people do this? Why to leave behind their family for 2 months...